Friends :)

This blog has only one topic, because its a big enough topic to carry on to blog after blog after blog!!..lol..

I think I try to ignore this topic because its sooo frustrating!. Its only frustrating because of the 2 people involved. I know that I have blogged about this before and those involved know what I am talking about. Its just getting old. I try to do things seperately with both of them, just so I dont have to totally ignore one of them, but its becoming so hard because they both know how to make the other one sooo mad and just push their buttons. So all I am going to say is I like who I like, and I am not just going to stop talking to someone because they arent liked by others. Im trying to make it easy, but I can see it never being easy and thats not fair to me! Why should I have to worry if I am making others mad?. I am trying real hard. I am sure I am going to make someone mad with this email. All parties involed know how I feel and all I can do from here on out id make myself happy, even if it pisses others off. I have tried my best to be the best, best friend I can and the best friend that I can be to others, but for some reason I always fall short. ONe of my really good online friends tells me not to worry about it and just pray about it.. so I defiantely do that cause I am tired of fretting over it. I love BOTH of you!.Believe it! I have one best friend and please believe that I love you, regardless of how you feel about others and I never want to hurt you. I just want to let both of you know how I feel. And the truth is I love both of you. Yes I think things were dealt with in a very very wrong way.. but have been talked about. So, for now.. I am ending this blog. I am sure I will occur some attitude and mad people about this blog, but its my way of getting my feelings out there. I am NOT taking sides at all! There arent sides when friends are involved! ok im done..lol

Speech Thearpy and pregnancy.

Well I decided to get 2 topics out of the way tonight..hehe..

Well garrett started speech therapy last week. He really really loves it! He gets to play games, draw on the windows with markers, and build robot boy with playdoh (he loves robot boy on cartoon network..lol) He loves his therapist too. She says he is doing wonderful. We go there on Tues and thurs afternoons. I love just watching him answer questions. He is sooo smart. She actually told me and Kris today that he is getting alot more questions that pre-schoolers dont normally get. So that def made us proud!. Hes definately a smart little boy!. He loves loves loves doing puzzles. One of these days I am going to get a video of him doing his puzzle, hes amazing.

The other good thing about this speech therapy thing is that we may be able to get him into head start (preschool). Normally, you are only accepted if you are low income. But, one of my friends told me that you may be eligible if getting speech therapy. So I went to the elementary and he has an appointment for testing on March 31st at 10am. If he is accepted or eligible it wold take sooo much off of our plates, finacially!! We would be able to put him in school (just 2 blocks from our house) and I could stay home with Victoria. I would prob still have to work part time, but that is soooo do-able!!!! AND we wont be out 1000.00 a month for day care of both kids.. which is a dream of mine!!!!! I could spend more time with my kids and be a more productive mom. This may not happen, but glad it is a possibility. Fingers crossed. :)

The pregnancy is going pretty well right now. I am getting bigger and bigger by every single day. I get so uncomfortable, but I know it is all worth in just a few more weeks. Only 62 more days left!!. I am so glad!. We have got most of her nursery ready. We have clothes galore!!!. After my baby shower on April 11, Ill be able to complete my nursery with blankets and sleepers, etc. I am going to start buying a package of diapers every pay check to start and get ready!. I am not having any more sickness, just alot of weakness and no no no energy..lol.. We are getting closer to have the baby shower done. I am in charge of making diaper cakes for the centerpieces and I cant wait to start making them. Can never have too many diaper cakes..hehe.. Will always need diapers!!.

Well I am so tired so I am off to bed!!

Dont know where to start..

Well i said tonight I was going to start blogging cause I have soo much to blog about. Its already very late, so I am going to start blogging.. This blog is only going to be pictures, then tomorrow I will start blogging more about Life. There is sooo much to blog about.
Friendships
trip to bossier
Garretts Head Start possibilities
Pregnancy
Family Life
Victoria
Clothes
Shopping.. etc. etc. etc. etc..lol

The following will be pics of the sonogram, garrett, preggo pics.. etc.

someday

Maybe someday Ill write another blog. I have just been so busy. I am going to forget everything that I want to write..lol.. Maybe I need to start writing this stuff down..lol.. When I DO finally sit down to write it, its gonna be sooooo long and have soooo many pics..hehe..

DOES THIS COUNT AS A WEEKLY BLOG??..LOL!!!

Time to think about the baby shower. :)

On one of my baby sites that I go to, to speak to others about pregnancy has started talking about baby showers. I have thought alot about the shower lately. I dont know if anyone else is thinking about stuff, cause they dont ever talk about it. I am supposed to meet with m mom in March about decorations and favors and stuff. Wonder if any of the hostesses are even looking up stuff and trying to come up with cool stuff for the shower. Since its MY shower, I definately look at stuff often. Just havent found the perfect things. On babyzone.com I I was reading a previous post and got some wonderful ideas for baby shower games. I absolutely loved the diaper raffle!. (On the invitations you tell everyone that a raffle will be drawn. Anyone that brings in a pack of diapers will be entered into a drawing for a gift certificate or a basket) Who doesnt need diapers?? Also loved the other cute games with memorizing things (Pass around a basket of 25 baby items, then hide basket. Pass out a piece of paper and have everyone remember what all was in the basket- they will win a gift certificate or a basket of goodies) and the other game was to place a number on the bottom of all of the plates, at the end of the baby shower draw a number and they will win something. Just sounds like some really fun things!. My idea of that is, if I am going to receive 200.00 to 500.00 worth of stuff, I can spend 100.00 on prizes, gift certificates, and baskets of goodies!

Another thing that I am looking for is hot pink/black zebra printed party supplies (plates, cups, napkins, etc.), not having any luck!

here are a few pics of the stuff that I am liking. Still not sure if I found something perfect!.

Favor boxes- of course the colors would be closer to hot pink and black with some bling. :)


These are favor boxes. The flowers would prob be hot pink, with some hot pink and black ribbon. (not sure of what would go in the boxes yet..lol)


These were some really cute measuring spoons that I found on this cool website. Would make a cute favor (with other stuff too, just thought they were cute!)


This is a jar of a cookie mixture that one of my friends made for her MOPS group. Hope you dont mind that I stole your pic, April.. hehe. I was thinking of maybe a brownie mixture since it is brown/black with maybe some kinda pink chunks- maybe like peppermint chunks. Have you ever had a peppermint brownie?? YUMMY!!!


This would be a centerpiece. Hate the ribbon on this diaper cake, would def use a cuter ribbon and maybe add some bling. Would prob make them 2 tiered. I thought this was a cool idea, since I will always need diapers..lol


Do you think its tacky that I am looking up stuff for my own shower?. Oh well. This is my last baby shower and I just really wanted to have a say so. I know most people probably dont help with their own shower, but it was pretty important to me! If you think im tacky.. then oh well..heheh

OK SO MAYBE NOT....

OK, so what about a blog every other week, instead of every week?..lol.. I just cant seem to blog like I used to. I think its because I just figure, who really reads my blogs?. Am I writing for myself? Who really cares? lol.. But I have heard from a "few" people asking why I am not blogging anymore, So I guess some people read it..hehe..

Hormones have been absolutely HORRIBLE the last few weeks!. And when I say horrible, I mean absolutely horrible. It is so crazy how different this pregnancy is. When I was pregnant with Garrett I was so happy, ALL THE TIME! I dont know whats so different about this one, but seems I am an emotional wreck ALL THE TIME!. Dont feel loved, feel like I cant do anything right, feel like I have the world on my shoulders, wonder why its so hard to please everyone..etc. I am ready to just be FAT AGAIN!.. Not pregnant..lol.. I am so ready to see my beautiful princess!!!

The pregnancy,itself is going pretty good. Not having any real problems. I am feeling her move less, I think just because she is getting bigger. I am officially in my third trimester and that is sooo exciting!. I think there is only like 70 days left. How crazy is that. Seemsm like just a few weeks ago, I was in Missouri and found out I was pregnant! I never thought that would happen. After over 6 months of fertility treatments, injections, pills, sonograms, and mucho money.. we finally did it! I am glad this is the last one. Our family will be complete!

Life other than pregnancy is going pretty good. Me and Kris are doing wonderful. I cant believe that I am married to such a wonderful man who loves me for me, puts me first, and only cares that his family is taken care of like they should be. Sometimes I wonder if I even deserve someone like him. He totally puts me first and tries to make sure that I KNOW that he loves me. He texts me every single day and says "Love you beautiful", you dont know what that does for someone like me!. Its wonderful. He has been working alot lately and I know that he feels so horrible. Thank goodness it isnt always like this!. I would die..lol

We got a referral from Garrett's MD for a speech therapy evaluation. His speech is so mumbled and has had speech issues for awhile. But we figured he would grow out of it. The closer we get to Kindergarten, the more worried I get. I want him to be able to learn what he should before Kindergarten. So we had out eval today and the therapists thinks he would benefit from speech therapy 2x a week. So we will start going. The only good thing about this is we may be able to enroll him into Pre-K. Normally Pre-K at TISD is through head start and they go on income ONLY. Well on income only, there is NO WAY IN THE WORLD we would qualify. But, I was told that if your child has a disability or has speech issues that you are automatically eligible. So they reason this really makes me happy is.... Because that means we can enroll him in pre0K through Woods Elementary, just 1 mile from our house and we will no longer have to pay 420.00 a month for daycare! This also means that I MIGHT be able to stay home with Victoria! That would totally ROCK!! That would mean the world to me. I may still work Part Time, but no more full time. Ill be able to bond with my daughter all day long, not send her to some people and wonder all day long if she wsa being taken care of, if she was getting what she needed, if she misses her mommy!. It may not even happen, but with the chance being there.. that is all I need. Ill know more by probably April or may. So who knows.

Work is going really good so far. I think we have the same problems that every home health company has. I think we are really starting to turn around. We hired a new director of nurses a few weeks ago and she totally rocks!. She is really organizing things and trying to help make things easier for the nurses and the office staff, which is nice. She is so smart and kinda makes me feel stupid sometimes...lol.. But I have learned alot from her lately. She is really gonna make a good change with Omega. I have also realized how good I actually have it where I am..lol.. Ever since I was 6 months pregnant, my boss has had me work only monday, wednesday, and friday-seeing only3-4 patients a day. Then on Tuesday and Thursday I can take it easy and do chart audits from home while my feet are elevated to help decrease any swelling. I still get paid for 40 hours a week. Thats crazy. I dont know of many bosses that would actually do that. So I am definately greatful!. It has made the last month of my pregnancy tolerable. I dont have to bend over to do wound care, sit on the floor, get in and out of my car 6-8 times a day..etc.

I have my 4D ultrasound in 4 days. I cant wait to see how beautiful Tori is!. I wanna see her nose, her chin, her face..etc..hehe. It will be wonderful!. Ill def post pics when I can.

OK.. I think thats a lonf enough blog for now..lol

My weekly Blog.....

OK, so I am having a hard time making a daily blog entry, surprising huh?..lol.. Its not that I dont have anything to say. Its that I cant make time to sit at the computer and come to this website. I go to every other website under the sun, but I just cant seem to make it to this website. SO.. I could blog on myspace (dont go there very much anymore), could blog on facebook (unsure of security and who can view it there yet).. but, would I actually do it??. Umm probably not..lol So.. now I am going to do AT LEAST one a week. We will "see" how this works out.

The pregnancy is going "pretty good". I have been having alot of Braxton Hicks Contractions. They are getting very uncomfortable and painful at times. I have an MD appt tomorrow to make sure that everything is ok. I have also been having alot of pressure in my bottom and my va-jayjay, its weird. Everyone at work is so worried that I am going into early labor, but I really dont think so. They are all so sweet. Trying to get me off my feet and just take care of me!. So wonderful to be cared for..hehe But, other that that.. things are going great. We have really started to work on Victoria's room lately. I got my big desk out of there and I am going to work on getting the rest of the boxes out of there tonight and maybe start painting this weekend. :) Wouldnt that be fun??. Well, I wont be doing it.. my father in law will.. Lucky him, huh?. The he can put up the border.. THEN we can put the furniture in there!!. I cant wait!.

My Part time work schedule has started and it is wonderful. It helps me rest more, elevate my feet when they start to become the size of an elephant and still get paid a full time salary. We would definately be in trouble without that. Not very many employers would allow me to do what I am doing, so I am definately feeling lucky!

Again, and again, and again.. I am faced with the green eyed monster. I hate this stupid thing! Some say are you sure its jealousy? Or envy?. Its defiantely NOT envy.. who knows, it may not even be jealousy. But its something that I have faced my entire life, through high school, college, and married life. I am very secure with my marriage and have never second guessed my wonderful husband!. But insecurities, cause me to be insecure about others. And I try and try and try.. but I can never kick this..this..this.. well, whatever this is..lol.. I have said some things lately that I didnt mean, and I have NOT said some things that I should of. Its tiresome to put all my energy in one thing that I am doing, because I neglect other areas of my life to just try and build on one thing. Its crazy. Why cant I be happy with just who I am, believe in myself as a person, nurse, wife, mother, and friend?. I dont think I could be a better friend, maybe just a more observent one. I dont mean to hurt anyone and hate it when I do. But sometimes I just want to shut and lock my door and just stay in my house with my family, where they can understand me and know how I feel. Ok, I am sure this is part of my raging hormones, but its crazy!

Talking about hormones! This has been a horrible horrible horrible emotional day for me. I am getting to the point where me having a little girl is becoming soo real. I am emotioinal about some things going on in my life, my insecurities, and just finaces. Finacially, we are doing great right now.. but I want to know that my family is going to be taken care of when it is complete. Just a scary place to be in life.

I would love to have time away. Somewhere that is serene, quiet, and calming. Maybe up in the mountains somewhere in a cabin. Sitting by the fire, all by myself, reading magazines and sipping hot chocolate. Sounds wonderful huh?.. I know.

Well, I better get back to chart auditing since that is what I am getting paid for. :)